The night John Lennon Died

Can germs enter through your eyes? That's a good question. A guy was coughing in front of me earlier today and I covered my nose and my mouth but still I didnt feel safe.

  On the night John Lennon died I was not watching Monday Night Football. I have never once watched Monday Night Football. I've never really had any interest in professional sports other than maybe in bowling. I love bowling  I've always loved bowling. I've often felt that bowling is what connects us all as Americans. It doesnt matter where you come from in this nutty country of ours bowling is a part of you and its a part of your life. I know a retarded guy whos bowled three perfect games over the course of his life. I've never bowled over 165.  He also manages to keep his job at the supermarket bagging peoples groceries. He's that guy.  Me, I cant even hold a job selling cupcakes. "you dont really seem to get it", I was told. I've been outta work for over a year. Whatever.
   On Sundays sometimes when I was a kid they'd show bowling on The Wide World of Sports. What a treat it was watching left-handed Mark Rothman time after time destroy almost everyone who opposed him. He was incredible. He was the greatest bowler in the world. Being left-handed myself I took great pride in this. I love being left-handed even more than I love bowling. Everyday I point out to left-handers and to non-left handers that the only subculture I've ever felt any allegiance to is to left-handedness. When I was 8 and i first heard the words 'The Super Bowl' I really thought that it had to do with bowling. I wasnt exactly sure what specifically but I did care cause when you're 8 and you hear something about something that you love and its preceded by the word 'super' its hard to not get excited. Well, I was excited alright. I loved bowling. It sounded so great. In fact it probably sounded like the greatest thing ever. I kept trying to imagine what would be added to it to make it  'super'. I mean it already was  'super' as far as I was concerned. I dont know why but images of gorillas kept popping into my head. Like maybe what was gonna happen was it was gonna be this incredible head to head between the worlds best human bowlers and the worlds best gorilla bowlers. I had no idea if there were any gorillas out there who actually bowled but I didnt give a shit. I mean why would I?  So I counted the days down until Super Bowl Sunday. I couldnt imagine why no one else at home was as excited as I was but I didnt wanna ruin the surprise for them. This was gonna be the greatest thing ever and it was gonna bring us all together as a family. I was certain of this. I remember quite clearly the feeling of feeling let down and stupid when I learned  that 'The Super Bowl' had nothing whatsoever to do with bowling or with gorillas. It's never left me. Oh well...
   What was I doing the night John Lennon died?  I was listening to a special on The Doors my new favorite band on my favorite radio stion WPLJ 95.5 on you FM dial. It altered me spiritually. It planted the seeds for the pointless life I've led. I'm older than Lennon or Jim Morrison or Jack Kerouac or Neal Cassady ever made it to. So what?  I finished writing a book this week. I hope somebody will wanna buy it. Its pretty good and its pretty kind and I'm pretty broke. I'll be in Shelburn, Massachussettes silently meditating for 11days starting april 11th. I could really use it. I'm 46 years old and i"ve live in Los Angeles for almost 17yrs and I'm ready to go home. I wish I knew where that was. My girlfriend broke up with me last week and it really saddened me. We didnt date long but I swear I've never cared for anyone half as much as I cared about her. She is beautiful and a lot of laughs and sometimes we'd meditate together or play soccer together over by th museum. I loved holding her hand yeah! yeah! yeah! and going for walks and stopping and looking at stuff together and sitting on stoops and on benches and lawn chairs that just materialized outta nowhere she was a great friend and I loved  makin her laugh and making her cum and watching her trip over her silly girl feet and I loved the sound of her voice and the words she spoke and the words she wrote and I loved waking up with her and falling asleep with her and looking over at her at 2 and again at 3 and four in the morning and telling her I loved her. I miss her. i really do. Break ups always sadden me. Some make me angry. This one justs makes me sad. The night before it happened we went for a walk to do a crossword puzzle over at Starbucks and it was pretty magical. going to starbucks with her to do crosswords was always magical. even if i was in the shittiest mood ever. i loved being with her. What has all this got to do with John Lennon or the night he died? nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm just bummed out and needed something to do. Now i'm gonna go walk a dog named Grizzly.