its sunday its raining and i dont wanna drink coffee

so what do i do? i wish i was as cool about the rain as ike the dog i'm watching is but i'm not. ive played ball with him a couple of times all ready but he is relentless and sloppy which normally i wouldnt mind but the combination of cold slobbery and wet isnt that appealing to me. what is appealing to me? cheese. cheese and playing that sweet guitar in the other room. i slept with it last night. i woulda hugged it but i was hugging a copy of 'something under the bed is drooling '(a calvin and hobbes collection) instead. sound pathetic? its not. me and my windbreaker and my false beard are enjoying life considerably today. lots of other lonely nuts to talk to on the phone-books on intimacy and then ofcourse theres the odyssey which ive yet to read but keeps screaming at me to. maybe tonight.

there once was a clown named Klunko and boy what a nut he was . he had klunky boots and a klunky girlfriend clown named oddly enough Klunkette. together they klunked around town playing all sorts of klunky games. they played klunky soccer and did klunky crossword puzzles. they loved to watch klunky seinfeld and their favorite movie was 'escape from klunky ny'. they thought it was all pretty klunky. then one day klunko got even too klunky for klunkette and she got scared and told klunko she couldnt play with him anymore that day. that made dopey old klunko pretty sad but being the adult childclown of an alcoholic he didnt know how to respond so he just got angry spat on a cat and ran down the street. he didnt really spit on a cat but he wished he had. what he really did was throw his apple on the ground , growl and then run down the street.

Klunkette was just trying to protect herself because she like klunko grew up in a pretty unklunky house and people getting angry made her feel unsafe. so for two klunky  (not the good kind of) days klunko roamed the streets of burbank, ca (a cesspool) wishing he could talk to klunkette and say he was sorry.
but klunkette was pretty sad and scared herself and turned off her phone and cried and jumped on her trampoline and ate licorice. stupid old klunko didnt know what to do. he was like some clown in a bad movie. he was worried about klunkette because he knew she was having a rough time already and his getting all vietnam in front of her was probably very bad. he figured this was gonna be the last straw for him. he was nervous so he bought a wig so he'd have some hair to pull out because you see boys and girls klunko the amazingly tragic clown is not only klunky but he is also bald . so with no hair left on his head or his wig klunko made the biggest klunk of his life and text messaged klunkette saying that he was moving to texas and never coming back. what a dope! it had always been their dream to live in texas together where klunkette could have her own cooking show and klunko could warm up the crowd there with the klunky songs he'd written just as soon as he got a guitar and learned how to play it but now texas just seemed like a crummy place where a clown could go hide and cry his klunky tears in private.

now when i say this was a klunky idea i mean this was a shitty idea because boy oh boy did it piss off klunkette. rightfully so i might add. so she read him the riot act and told him they were threw. which she had every right to do. klunko shoulda just taken a big fat chill pill from the very beginning and shut the fuck up. atleast if he listened to his brothers in clownanon thats what he woulda done but he didnt. he drank too much coffee and  he blew it. so now klunko is gonna go to fucking texas even though he doesnt want to and make the best of it. maybe he'll join the goddamn moonies- afterall hes got the hairdo for it. he wishes everysecond of everyday he didnt send that stupid text and freak klunkette out but atleast just for today klunkette is cool enough to be back to talking to him on a limited basis and hes glad shes taking lots of good care of herself and that she has lots of klunky friends who love her lots. he loves her lots too, more than everyone else put together and more than anyone could ever imagine because she is without a doubt the single sweetest and most beautiful clown in the whole wide world. ultimately he wishes that this whole mess would turn out to be just some klunky dream and that they could go back to holding hands and eating salads and sleeping clown by clown in that beautiful clown sized bed. he's gonna go pray now.